quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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