Nicole vs. Life
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
