You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
