Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
