Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
