too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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