I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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