Is it normal to miss your booty call?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Alive.
So much puke
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
