My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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