Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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