No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
