everyone is single if you try hard enough
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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