i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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