Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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