Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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