Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
There's always time for handjobs
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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