upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I wish there were birth control emojis
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
