hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize