there was a trapeze. enough said
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
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Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
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You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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