so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
