Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
porn star boner night. come get it.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
