the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
