Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I have tasted many bathrooms
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
