Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
