I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
