I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
