Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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