I heard we made out
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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