to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
