bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
