I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
