I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
