he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
