yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
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He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
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Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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