Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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