you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
