I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Less talking, more tequila
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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