Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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