this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
