you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
