OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
