no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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