all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
