They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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