She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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