Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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