I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
