he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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