Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
