i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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