So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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