I got chris browned last night
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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