Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
