I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
