my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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