hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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