too bad you live with your parents still
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
