i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
