how do flat chested girls get laid?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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