sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
