Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
