dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
