she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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