drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
