By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize